“Why are you being so mellow?” I was quite often, actually I AM still occasionally, being asked on this question. I am a typical introvert, and I was aware of this quite well since I was small. However for a very long time, I felt uncomfortable and even guilty being quiet among people.
On the other hand, I am the kind of girl being “noticeable”, and I also knew well about this and sometimes enjoy the feeling of being “noticed”. I think this could be one of the reasons, and others are the people around, and the environment that I have to adapt myself to. Because of these, I am transformed a lot. Now the people I come across don’t easily notice that I am a typical introvert. I am able to make conversations going high, I am able to spot myself among people, and I am able to pretend to be sociable. Then once in a while I found myself so loud that I started to hate myself a little bit. And every time, after the “awkward act”, I feel so exhausted, and guilty again, in different way. I even find myself cannot bear the time being alone, which once was the most enjoyable time for me! What the matter with me? Am I becoming a person whom I even don’t like. Deep in my heart, I know I still want to be the little girl who sitting quietly, doing painting. However some strange and strong power of the cruel society drives all of us to become EXTROVERT. I am confused about myself.
I wanna find the true self, and being true to it. The talk is inspiring. Books (7 habits and The Introvert Advantage) I am browsing recently also give lots of hints for me to better know myself and to be true to myself. Now I do not feel the silence between people are embarrassing, and I can easily say no to friends’ invitations when I feel out of energy. The best is that I start to enjoy reading, writing and painting on whatever I feel like to again, and I start to look for the career path that I could follow, with the POWER OF INTROVERTS